did she die in hospital? at home? how do you discover that? do you yell her name, hoping to wake her up? these are things i should not think about late at night, but that’s when the e-mail arrived, 12:02 am exactly. she passed on just after christmas, and i didn’t even know her well at all. i just knew who she was, but just like when my high school classmate matthew garber died, it was a very strange feeling.
update. i think one of the things that bothers me is that, reading the obituary, i realize that this girl has done more than me in life, and that well, she died and i didn’t. that should be some kind of impetus for me to live better. so here goes, trying to live better! it’s bizarrely paralyzing and liberating at the same time.
i didn’t go to class today. i worked, though. on finding what to do next, and sadly, on a problem set hahaha