america’s next ____

there are singing (american idol) and broadway (you’re the one that i want) and ballroom dancing (dancing with the stars) and modelling (america’s next top model) and cooking (top chef) competitions, now there’s a football one for a spot with cd chivas usa (sueno mls).

i think a football competition only works in this country, because there are a lot of players and not a lot of clubs. we just don’t have clubs every three feet here, not like england. old people don’t get together to play on weekends with their pub sides. it’s just not a fundamental part of peoples’ lives after the time of childhood and youth soccer passes on.

we do have a glut of biology researchers without positions though. what’s next, “american phd candidate”? ok maybe i’ll have to name it something better. like “america’s next nobel prize winner”! you win tenure at some random small school, and an NIH grant. the competition puts that school on the map too! there could be some controversy with a contestant not meeting visa and citizenship requirements, and lying about it. or someone hogging the pcr machine and a huge sissy slap fight. i think i like the second controversy better.

clearly, i’ve thought about this too much.

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