flickerfade.org

i am pleased, proud, happy to know that i am trusted with certain things.

but knowing those things is sometimes not very happy, they’re either totally sad, or make me realise i have much work to do in life.

ever since i came here. half the time i can’t really say anything because i don’t want to offend anybody. if i become any calmer i’ll become a rock.

to not have my camera would be a shame. except, out of all the pictures i’ve taken not one is good. i did manage to fix my camera myself when it failed the other day.

my heart is already gone. i’m already thinking about the stuff i have to do next week in japan and when i get home. like gre and shop and pack and get a new phone and crap like that. i am always too far ahead of the game in spirit but always behind the game in action. please kick me in the ass and make me continue.

yeah you can’t see anything when you can’t walk. but guangzhou was a better experience than shanghai mainly due to the fact that i could communicate with people. we had a lot of trouble figuring out what to do, though.

only one week left here, and although i’ve done a lot i still feel like it isn’t enough. my family is back from the uk now so less time on my own now also. strangely, i learn a lot more from what my family does not say than from what they do say. that is to say, i’ve learned a lot.

stay calm, think clearly. stop being so worried. put things out in the open.

with only a week left, very little dry swimming remaining. (think cantonese.)