flickerfade.org

the freaking public machine in ocean terminal is a piece of crap and randomly changes the focus of the windows yet never allows me to return.

i am standing near toys-r-us, of course. but there is nothing special there, globalization is removing a lot of unique character from shopping, anyway. gap and banana and old navy and a bunch of stores like that are here too. there are FIVE ikeas. i will be going to one of those later. all these stores like to hire cute girls to sell you stuff, haha. i was given a jacket today, actually family stepped in to prevent me from paying. people here apparently never wash their jackets, or so the cute girls at the counter said. (cute girls everywhere haha. i guess it’s bound to happen in a city of this magnitude, not that i’ll be picking up any of them soon.)

still haven’t been able to get away from family commitments to do something for myself, which is sad. the thirty minutes i’ve got right now are probably the longest i’ve been on my own in days, which is mind-bogglingly numbing.

we are gambling our faces off. first mark six, now triple trio or whatever. it pays 600 million hong kong dollars. you have to guess the top three horses in any order for three consecutive races. i also won another 100 bucks playing mahjong. got to be careful with money, although actually right now i’ve made money. only 1000 left.

feel free to post whatever you want in the comments, i’ve plenty of bandwidth. i need to find time to send e-mails soon, which is pretty difficult. when i have time i will tell a better story, time to meet my parents at swindon in ocean centre, i think.

all i do here is eat, and play mahjong (i won fifty hong kong dollars). i also bought a lottery ticket (mark six) and lost five dollars. it really isn’t that different here. people still live the same lives as in other places. same kinds of malls, stuff like that. go buy groceries after work. the differences are mainly subtle. homogenization at work.

watching a lot of football. silly americans don’t understand the joy except where money is involved (charging twenty u.s. dollars per match on payperview). england, 1-0 up for 90 minutes, manages to lose their group stage match against france in three minutes of injury time. that was amusing. reminds me of other lives, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

right now i am pirating korean dramas to carry home for my father to watch.

on the way here i sat next to some tatooed guy who kept spreading his legs into the neighboring seats. he was bald, haha. that was really annoying, considering it was a fifteen hour flight from chicago. they played some bad movies on the plane. i ended up playing a lot of tetris, what a waste.

i wish we were more active. but the food is good. i want to meet (not just watch) some non-family members. i think one of the problems is that i am the only one who’s reasonably young around here, without being too young. that is just a euphemism for “people my age.”

i don’t know.

right now i am trying to take in everything i can before i go. stuff like television in english, unfettered (albeit slow) internet access, music any time i want, plenty of room to draw and write, knowledge of home, no line for the bathroom (there’s going to be nine people in a 1500 sq ft apartment soon), piano, violin, my library of books and cds, even nba jam.

this happens every time i’m about to leave somewhere, i feel like i’m going to miss it so i go crazy, even though there is a good chance that i won’t miss it that badly, and that i’ll be back. what will happen when i leave a place i will miss badly, and without the certainty of return? that scares me. that will most likely happen when i go to grad school or something. that’s why i want to stay in boston after i graduate, fear of change! i don’t want to have to meet new friends and stuff like that, i’m very happy with the ones i’ve got. on the other hand, i’ve met too many great people, and i’ve made it before. life has to go on.

well, let me think about the present now, not get too far ahead of myself like i always do. i’ll get to watch euro 2004! and see family. that’s pretty important too. see new places too. EAT. lots and lots of EATING. gooooooood, damn good EATING.

the fear will just get lost in the excitement. so i am ready to go now. i know now. rock on.

and now, in the shower and out the door i go.