flickerfade.org

it’s been a whopping two days and i’m already getting bored off my ass. you can only do things for yourself for so long. but all this will change tomorrow, and this weekend, as friends start to appear in my life again, friends i haven’t seen in a while. it’s really exciting.

i spent a lot of today playing piano, learned about half of the first debussy arabesque, the pretty one. i am such a big fan of french impressionistic music. and then i learned more french. i’m going to be frufru before you know it. debussy violin sonata too.

right now i’m having my brain sucked out by television, and its endless supply of the same stuff over and over, but it’s strangely calming. mandy would be happy, i think. detective conan is now on adult swim. except they gave it a crappy name and crappy dubbing.

hmm $6/hr for high speed internet at starbucks through t-mobile? that isn’t that bad. i’m like an ad haha.

the more you think about the answers, the more questions you’ll bring up.
how do you know unless you try?
well, how do you try if you always doubt yourself?
why do you always doubt yourself?

so you stop thinking about the answers, and you get up and go find them. thought is only half the story. mistakes have been made, but don’t act like it’s too late, because it sometimes isn’t. then again, sometimes it is. so go find out the truth, go try. you just have to believe, somehow, and just put yourself, doubt and all, out there. don’t be afraid to fail, and when you do, dust yourself off. try again? maybe. maybe not. that’s for you to decide, but don’t hurt yourself needlessly.

and looking back on another conversation–there’s no ownership on things like that. that wouldn’t make sense, that’s just not how things work. nothing to apologise for. but you’re right about me, though.

might have to switch software to wordpress, running out of disk space.

the first day is always a waste. i got up at a reasonable hour, which was pretty good for me. but i couldn’t really think of anything special to do. i did drive about looking for a new cd player, and i did decide to put off repairing my md player until august (no md in hong kong! booooooooooo this happened last year.)

i watched the champions league final. what a boring match, even with three goals. porto played so negatively, i didn’t like it. but monaco really should have tried shooting on goal instead of looking for some lameass final pass the whole time. had they scored first, it would have been totally different, because porto would have had to come out of their shell.

i also bought TETRIS. wrong wrong wrong! evil evil evil! but it will keep me amused on the long journey to hong kong, and on the occasional boring day around here. actually i am half tired of it already, so i will play it a bit more sparingly now. good for me.

chores, haven’t really done those in a while. you start to take things like that for granted when you have someone like al the janitor. yard work! i learned to edge. that’s like halfway to mowing, isn’t it? got ever so slightly tanner. i also cooked.

in order to ensure that future days are not wasted totally, i looked for stuff to do here. i found a couple of things. okc national memorial museum, finally. years after helping out a little bit there, too. i wonder if i made a difference. banjo festival this weekend, although my parents are encouraging me NOT to go since it’s far away. i dunno, it sounds fun, although i have no idea what i am in for. hot air balloon festival in august, gotta call about volunteering, it benefits local food banks. plus hot air balloons! can’t go wrong. i hope i follow through there.

as for the immediate future, tomorrow i’m gonna drive around this town and see what’s changed and what hasn’t. take lots of pictures too. i always forget what this place looks like.