flickerfade.org

time steps on by and before you know it, it’s over. gotta find a way to slow down so the speed bumps don’t hurt so much.

i meet interesting people every day. i also eat too many donuts! anyway these interesting people find a way to live on. or i hope they do. and when they do, it’s a great feeling, one they spread to you. they learned how to appreciate things, i think. it’s a skill i have trouble with sometimes. when i complain, i just have to remember a lot of my complaints aren’t really worthwhile, because there’s probably something worse i’m not going through luckily, and because there’s so much good stuff to cancel it the hell out. thanks peter and john. it’s not too late.

i need to get my act together in more ways than that. but that is pretty fundamental to life.

thanks peter. thanks john. it was nice to meet you.

i know why the eyes look funny. it’s because i forgot to draw pupils, DUH.

you know, you can never see the back of your head. well, i guess you can if you have two mirrors. that kid in that one movie, what he wanted to do was to show people what they couldn’t see. reminds me of a book i just finished again. i think the name of the film was yi yi. the little boy took pictures of the backs of people’s heads.

i bet i confused the hell out of sheeva by ranting about the memories i associate with some of the objects in my room, haha. but really, each thing has some memory. at least one. it might be trivial, but it’s still a memory. when you look at objects that way, you can see the whole world as a museum. for every object, someone’s probably got a memory associated with it. it’s fun to speculate on those memories. for example, what were the people who carved out their love in that desk like?

and, i’d better have some amaretto left. it goes quite well with sprite. thanks to mark for suggesting this. i had my first drinks in weeks today. starting at 6 pm, with a short break for dinner. no plastering and waking up in strange places though. sorry, no sordid stories. that amaretto was a gift from a friend down the hall. he didn’t want to drink it, basically. and since i’m randomly alcoholic, i decided what the hell, let’s take it.

it’s rare when something sticks in my head so cleanly, permeating through everything i do. but methinks it may have just happened. i can see myself refusing to give up. to run and hide, stand and fall, whatever it takes.

i’m just absurd enough. i think that’s enough from me. today i felt my strength again. and hopefully i’ll be motivated tomorrow, because i have lots of stuff to do . . .

they’re like movies in my mind.