flickerfade.org

it’s really early now, hahah. i don’t have to be anywhere, either. this is a great feeling. i have literally hours at my disposal, to waste or work with. i can eat lunch! that kind of thing.

today started out pretty well actually. oversleeping is at least comfortable. i was a bit hungry the whole time, though. it wasn’t very memorable otherwise.

then i went to dinner with a couple of my friends from high school. that was better. it is kind of lame how we’ve all gone to the same school and never actually tried to hang out together, well, at least more than two of us at once. even today, we only got three. polcari’s is pretty decent, pretty close too. we’d like to say we’ve changed. have we? we’ve certainly grown up.

no matter how i want it to be like old times, it’s not. but that’s ok! we make new memories every day. and if we don’t, we’re really missing out! it gave me just that little bit more of confidence.

but today didn’t end so well. fisk and kyne died! at the same time, too! that’s reaaaalllly sad. i don’t know what to do with their bodies either. (probably flush them down the toilet, and hope they go to a better place finding nemo-style.) i took such good care of them! and they still passed on. part of the sadness isn’t really sadness but indignance. i guess that’s not very nice. they were awesome fish. and i can’t believe how their original owner just left them here. i wonder how old they were. bettas are supposed to live about a year or three after the pet store? i’m not really sure. i hope it wasn’t too cold, or they weren’t too fat or something.

there will be more fish. i just hope i’m doing a good job and not torturing them. kids! how the hell will i handle that? i keep asking that. weird. but when you think about it, it’s not thaaaaaaaat far away. maybe like five to fifteen years? sometime, anyway. if i get lucky.

what a tired day. it was warm, though. i also started to drink my coffeeeeeeeeeee. another cup of joe in the morning. i have a pound or so of ground coffee to get through.

i also set a ridiculous dr. mario high score. this was instead of working, of course. i halfassed my way through today until about 8, except when i went to caspar. actually, possibly then too, which is kind of sad. but they really had a lot of help today. i ended up standing around doing very little.

actually i played more guitar. that wasn’t halfass. that was probably wholeass. learned a couple more songs. more travis, but not a sad song. picked a love song instead. a pissy starsailor song, poor misguided fool. beatles songs are hard and john lennon and paul mccartney are fearsomely brilliant.

yeah that sums it up. pretty lame day. i can barely remember thinking. we had this conversation in the lounge about random stuff. weird stuff, like chicks with dicks. i didn’t really listen too hard then. i still had dr. mario and grading. that dr. mario game lasted from before caspar to about 9 pm. got over a million points. the conversation turned to other stuff. but nothing really deep. kind of amusing. a nap would probably have beaten the coffee, because now my eyes are forced open. that staff meeting seems like an eternity ago.

actually, for all the smoke i blow here, there’s something hidden. probably. they say that your handwriting speaks volumes. i should scan something instead of typing sometime. i tell the truth i hope but i lose that tone of voice. i also leave out a lot, because this is the Internet–the one with a capital I, the one that is open to anybody with a connection. this puts a lot of stuff into some weird moderate universe where i only reveal the amusing parts of my life, and maybe half the emotions. plus i have lame policies to which i always adhere, both on and offline. i suck.

i’ve never heard this billy vera and the beaters song, “at this moment.” i don’t even know where i got it.