sometimes you just get tired of crap. like i really need to buy film and see the advisor but i really put it off. i suck.
that shouldn’t stop me, though. at least i did the planning and shit. damn my breath smells like pork from the late dinner.
forgot to watch the chinese movie too. will do that until tired.
i think i am the only one who thinks monaco has a chance of champions league victory. they have few big names (morientes comes to mind) but dado prso is certainly very prolific . . .
by not sleeping i suddenly feel very one-dimensional, even though the two are not related at all.
you’re so cute but you’d never let anyone tell you that, i suppose. this is why you’re stuck. that’s what i thought to myself. well, it doesn’t really concern me anyways, since i’m not involved here. maybe in a few years you’ll see. but i think it’s funny. really funny. makes his side split, you know. in what way, i’ll leave to you.
the next day i woke up to find a shiny new credit card with my name on it. then i proceeded to spend sixty-seven dollars on amazon.com. and i barely have the uh most paying of jobs. i do think about money a lot even though it’s not the most noble of ends. but i guess it has to be a means to something. even for religious organisations. i always forget things like that.
i still owe other people dinner because they won many more times than we expected. this is good, because they get free dinner, and we get to hang out. i like getting to know people better. friends are not about how much time you spend together but how you spend it together, and not in the simple way of just revolving around the particular activity. i wish i undersood it more.
in that same way i don’t understand certain other people. it is, among other things, who i spend time with that makes me who i am, and i value that. but i wonder why certain people do this for me and others don’t.
i think it’s because ever since i was young i was more independent than others. i only went to daycare until sixth grade. my parents were paranoid, i hated it. but they let go, and in the process saved a lot of money on daycare. and ever since then i’ve been good about walking or skating home at night, calling home, being a latchkey kid. and then i grew up, and i was able to take care of myself.
what i am trying to say is that i lean on people in a different way. so i don’t understand the other ways you can lean on people. i never need people to do stuff for me. i take care of things like that. i really just need people to be there for me. and they are. can i say i do the same for others? if i can’t it must be really unfair to the people i lost respect for because they don’t take care of themselves the same way i do.
i hate thora birch’s character enid in the film version of ghost world. she needs to grow up. she looks independent but isn’t. i despise that. and each time i hear of screwups like that in real life, i don’t know what to think. and when i lose respect like that, i guess i make the friendship suffer. luckily, few people i know are like that. so it’s really just down to apathy. haha.
it’s better than those last few paragraphs, much better. what a great iap. the robot, the time in the back bay, days and days of starbucks, birthdays (mine included!), they all make my life brighter.
so this is the new year. (bowng bowng.) and with it, the new term. i feel much different now, though. it’s good either way.