i like doing happy things. they are especially comforting after seeing oliver stone’s platoon. bloody depressing. and bloody as well, although not the bloodiest war film by far.
i can’t believe i’m leaving in just over 24 hours.
i would never pay twelve dollars for a spatula.
i look independent, do i? i’m not. for some reason i can’t shake that feeling, the feeling that so much in life is already taken care of for me.
so i watch musicals instead. instead of the alternative, which is something.
we have all this extra stuff in our house now that my grandparents have moved back to hong kong. they couldn’t take everything, you know. among the things left behind is a wonderful olympus camera. with flash, a pair of great lenses. YES! i will learn to take pictures. the real way.
and thinking that suddenly made me feel selfish. i don’t know why.
the cost of that camera, and all the other stuff that got left behind, reminds me of how hard my grandparents worked to get where they are today. my grandparents have a very interesting story, maybe i will tell it later. i can only hope it is just as easy for me to find my way, and that i will have the strength to traverse that path.
in addition to the musicals and other old movies (the graduate, world war ii films) i have been watching entirely too much of tvb’s cantonese soaps. i have no real idea why it is so easy to see parallels between their characters and myself. i wonder why i look so hard for that stuff. i am also amused by how stupid i find all the characters, when in reality, if i was placed in their shoes, i would probably be just as stupidly paralysed.
but it’s all just a show.
wheee i’m going home! hahahahaha it was very strange how i had so little to take home. it’s also just strange to be going home, it’s been a while.
another road trip? maybe . . . i’ll drive home. well, new york first.
i am really going to miss you. and the flat. more importantly, you than the flat. i feel torn. i can’t cope with change. i wish i had it all. i think i already do, actually. thanks for all the memories.
oh man. at least it’s a short flight home. i will be wrecked. but i will watch football. oh yeah CABLE! haha i watch too much television already, but man it will be nice to veg out for a little while. and to see football.