flickerfade.org

it used to be a really bad value to play in an arcade, because i sucked at arcade games. but today, that changed. this is not very important. another cool thing is that i can enter the arcades in hong kong now because i am over 18. i have to do this at least once.

i love good food. i am becoming like my father and grandfather. scary. but not completely like them. not quite as impatient. not quite as anal either. maybe that comes with age? but really they are not that anal either. they don’t care about my hair or my beard or my fingernails or anything like that.

sometimes i wonder how happy the administrators at my old school are. do they lead successful lives? or more importantly, do they feel successful? something tells me there is some kind of conflict there as the turnover rate increases.

i like laughing at the gulf between fantasy and reality. and i am always surprised by the hidden strength and resilence of other people. it makes me smile.

just two more days here. shiest. and look at me waste them here on the couch. well, i guess since it’s the flat i won’t see again it’s better to waste the time there. i can just feel the memories flowing back.

i want to go home. no, that’s not it? i am so confused. i drove many many hours in the past three days. i rock. i could drift away on the floor right here. here i go. i want to go to ikea. i love not checking my e-mail. i want to be disconnected until i go home. i don’t say much lately. i wonder if i don’t say enough or if this is a reaction to saying too much. back to the floor for a bit. back up from the floor because the trash smells.

i thought i had unburned out or whatever but i’m not so sure. i need more rollercoasters. like superman. it takes you to rock bottom at an insane velocity, which ironically is a natural high. the vacation ended and now i’m back to responsibility. i’m not even sure who the vacation was for. i enjoyed it though.