yes i have decided that i am now homeless. i don’t know where it is, so i will just pretend it does not exist. it probably doesn’t. my life is a jumble now anyway, in a time of transition. some people feel that they have two homes, they feel different at school than at home. but i just feel the same either way. confused. sometimes i do not understand the concept of home, but sometimes i miss it like crazy. but it’s all changing so quickly. soon i will make my own home. in a way, i already am. there is no place like home. literally. there is no home. not right now, anyway.
where was i the past six days? packing my ass off. and chicago. i am now in the new flat. whoopee! all by myself though, but not lonely–i enjoy the quiet. and the rain. although i want it to end so i can go running and work out and be happy. i think chicago will make me gain weight, because family has this tendency to shove food down your throat. (in a nice way, of course)
i have realised that one of my problems is that i know where i want to be but not what i want to be. my grades are a lot better this term. they could still be better–especially if i was a biology major only–but even then, the eecs classes are not impossible, i could be working harder. but that is not the point. what do i want to do? and who says i will get to go where i want to? i think part of the problem is a fear of loneliness. and a lack of confidence.
speaking of loneliness, i am not going to be on aol instant messenger all summer. haha. i win. i will be more productive now!
since i haven’t written in a while i feel like i have a lot to think about. i think i will clean the apartment now.