so yeah, each second, even when i am doing something stupid like cleaning the apartment, i feel better. i think it is the lack of work. and the relative freedom. i play whatever music i want. even if it is depressing. depressing music for some reason makes me happier. it’s like, haha, your life is worse than mine. no, not really. it’s more like, haha, my life could suck a lot more.
i could really see myself being a housewife. except, the male counterpart of that, of course. whatever that is called. i guess that would be a househusband. it’s strangely relaxing. probably because it requires less thinking. or maybe because it is a change of pace.
for a while i wanted to be a school bus driver. i kind of still do. lots of school districts need them. it would be fun, and i would get to see bright faces (at least, the younger kids) but i would get bored of it really fast, and i would have to wake up really early.
and garbage man too. i have this great memory of following garbage men down the street while they played whiffleball with us using a mop. at the same time, while we were getting the ball, they kept doing their job. that is a little thing making a big impact. (i understand about goodbyes now.)
everyone looks at the big picture. i think the way to make a big impact in the world is a little bit at a time. kids make me really happy. i have all these funny stories from chicago too. but what was my point? oh yeah, kids are the future. a lot of things happen by accident, when you don’t expect them, sometimes right in front of your face, sometimes far away, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
yeah. stuff happens. but no matter what it is, we face it! like when you have to go to the bathroom really bad on top of a giant sand hill, you just make yourself a little litterbox and do your business. at least, this works if you are four years old.
clearly, i am still a tiny bit sick. i am still coughing, anyway. i used to say clearly a lot more. and hot damn. i actually said that today. i don’t remember why.