Archive for April, 2003

stuff (1/2)

Wednesday, April 30th, 2003

the harder you look for something the harder it is to find it. at least in many situations this is true. when i am not looking for my friends, they are always there for me. when i am not looking for anything, i have everything. when you are looking too hard it’s easy to forget that you already have so much.

the other thing that has been bothering me lately is people taking on responsibility and not following through. so many people i know do this it’s stupid. if you say you want to do it, you’d better do it. i think it all boils down to saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

i remember doc saying this a lot. or at least, i think it was him that said it. i think he wanted us to be precise when we did proofs on the board. he also had us use “spoze” in lieu of “let” or “suppose.” but i think the main point is that you cannot break your promises, and should do your best at everything you say you will do.

sometimes i feel bad for some of the people that i went to high school who still are in oklahoma, because they didn’t get to see the world. i wonder how many of them were just hooked by the scholarship money. i hope they are trying to get away, because oklahoma may be a good home but not the only place on the planet. actually, i think this is true for any place on the planet besides oklahoma.

al was unhappy because we left a mess in the country kitchen. he’s a really nice guy. damn me.

i’m so tired my left

Tuesday, April 29th, 2003

i’m so tired my left eyelid is falling down like london bridge.

happy birthday, matthew burns.

i made myself happier today. even through all the crap in the last few weeks. i know we’ll make it.

a break from cake beating

Monday, April 28th, 2003

there was this guy in a bright red shirt on the way home. he stopped suddenly and looked off at the side of one of our dorms. so i did it too. then we both walked on. suddenly we both turned around and looked at the same spot again.

i think we were looking at chirping birds. how strange. without a word, we have so much in common already.

it’s weird to see all these people you were once close to, and walk right on by, silently and in an empty manner. that seems to happen a lot on warm days when mit actually tries to be like other schools and have happy people outside. not that mit people are unhappy, they’re just usually not outside.

seeing lost acquaintances rolls right off me usually, as sad as that is. at the same time, it is good to be reminded that you are appreciated (even if only on a superficial level) by the people who do say hi and converse with you.

what a strange human need.