so after some prodding i actually went to my high school reunion. aren’t these things supposed to occur way after you graduate? like ten years? oh well.
anyways the reunion was able to dispel much of the bad stigma i surrounded it with. and it reminds of how much we all stay the same while we all change at the same time. ace is still watching the food network and telling ridiculous stories. jennifer still talks really fast. arick is still arick. and so on. but lots of big events have happened in our lives too. some of us talk about our research. some of us have gone far. some of us have suffered greatly. some of us deserve to go far but they don’t get to which is rather unfair. (like ike and arick, i think.) don’t fret, life gets better! only if you have that sparkle in your eye and the desire to do better. i saw it in a lot of people at the reunion. sadly i didn’t see it in everyone’s eyes though. almost everyone, though. i hope people aren’t resigned to staying in oklahoma, or something like that.
although you can’t recreate the past you can remember it. i fear losing my memory really badly. i think i’ve written here about my great-grandmother who had alzheimer’s disease. my grandfather might be getting it albeit slowly and not as bad (also known as becoming senile). he wore a pair of socks and then insisted it wasn’t his. i wrote in my little book about whether i would actually remember today, or whether it would be lost like all the other days. the one thing that bothers me is that i can’t remember day-to-day things, the little things that brighten my days, or the old routines i used to go through. well, i remember this reunion, and i’m actually happy to. i think the reunion was good because it made a new, meaningful memory. that made it possible to talk about old ones.
i also spent a lot of today looking through old pictures, as juny can attest. that just made me think more about memories. sometimes i wish i could remember more. it’s funny how random things can bring back random memories. the problem i have with all our pictures is that almost all of them are staged in some way–with family, in front of some tourist attraction, something like that. i can’t remember life like that. that’s not really life, it’s a vacation, or a visit, or a reunion. it’s a false moment. i wanted to bring a lot of pictures back to boston and embarrass myself, but the truth is that of the hundreds of pictures i scanned through i was only able to find thirty or so worth bringing, and that i only had two rolls of candids, ever. and candids are the best–they’re the most embarrassing.
there is one question that remains unanswered. well, sort of. i think the answer is no. the question is: is it possible to build or maintain a friendship if you have nothing in common?
i love my little book. i use it sparingly but seemingly at the right time.
i think i will search on google for the names of my old friends. you know, the ones i don’t talk with at all anymore. i hope they are doing well, because judging from the better pictures i had, we were happy at some point.
i fear being alone.