flickerfade.org

somehow i manage to overcome the tryptophan in turkey which puts us all to sleep. i think i have evolved past the need for sleep. ok, so maybe not. i am tired. but i have this insane skill at avoiding sleep.

yeah, someone help me think of christmas gifts. i am a failure in the gift department. ok, so that’s not entirely true.

growing up too fast. i think about it as i do my finances and think about the past. and partly because i read what other people wrote too. yeah.

for once i don’t want to think about it. it makes me a little more content but a little less happy to do so. content is that crappy middle ground. i don’t think you can have true happiness unless you risk ending up with true unhappiness. but in the end i think i am very very happy. it’s thanksgiving, it reminds you to be thankful for what you already have. in my case, happiness! this girl i used to know used to try really hard not to think. i don’t think that’s good for you all the time, eh? but this guy i know thinks too much. i think it’s all about that damn doctrine of the mean or whatever. just be happy.

no profound thoughts today. just appreciating my friends at matt’s house. that’s profound enough. i love ice. and cranberries. duxbury is exactly the type of place i want to live. i think. it really does fit matt’s personality too, although i doubt he had a choice in where to grow up. it fits a writer well. and watching vince and matt duke it out over nba jam. two big last-second treys. and lots of food. AGAIN. damn i’m getting bloated/fat? bought the jacket today too. fell asleep on the t. which is keeping me awake now.

aim is such a great way to use your time. really. i think i would rather risk a slight reduction in the quality of my work to be with friends. i’m just not that type of workaholic i guess. actually i usually deduct from sleep now that i think about it. i still remember the whole dropping dead in the 3w lounge incident all too well. which in turn makes me think of what to take next term. 7.02, 7.06, then ? and ?. yeah. probably something in 6, and another hass i guess. got to choose a concentration. and go snowboarding i think.

sleeeeepy. so i think i’ll sleep.

so i’m giving myself seven minutes to write. no time for thinking, just spewing.

today was thanksgiving. weeeee. so we went to chinatown, just eight of us since a million people went home. but still great. great fun, got ass kicked in taboo, that kind of thing afterwards. i like holidays. i’m sooooo sleepy, i went to bed last night at 9 (am, that is). too much perfect dark. my bad. justin and rob should have just left. apparently only i can take that kind of punishment for no reason? i dunno. tomorrow i waste money. weeeee again. well, it’s not a huge waste because i need a warm jacket but still. next week i need to make a lot of money in the lab, i guess. at least all the 6.002 psets are done, just a bigass, two week lab to do? or is it only one week? either way it’s hellacious. i actually did stare out the window for like 10 minutes during genetics but i think i did ok. although that’s probably not true. damn it. the more i think about it the more i realise i got wrong!

all of a sudden the train of thought has ended. i feel senile. sleep!

snow is beautiful. all at once it is melancholy and wonderous and happy. it’s the first of the year. good timing, screw up the thanksgiving travelers. but snowball fights. snow penises. snowmen too. and snow angels. snow everything. if i had only one type of weather it’d be snow, hands down. sun is a close second. maybe snow on the ground with the sun glistening off of it.

i have all these great memories of snow. like the time i was in my friend’s backyard having a snowball fight with his neighbors. then some lady came out and told us to be nice to her animals, which was really fucked up because they were all porcelain. what a funny woman. i remember hiking through the snow to eckerd. i remember shoveling snow at OSSM. for two hours. it was the only time i ever got to stay outside there after check-in. but it was beautiful. i think i remember sean jones’s enthusiam most from that night. he absolutely tore through the snow.

too bad snow never lasts in oklahoma. i hear that here in boston it’s great at first then rapidly degrades into depressing when you realise that every day is gray. like the last one. and the one before it. and so on. and then you have all that smutty black snow. but i think it’s what you make of it that counts. i love snow.

i have a genetics exam in walker but somehow i think i’ll be staring out the window the whole damn time.