whatever am i doing up at this freakish hour?
oh well. i just realized that insomniac music theater repeats every two hours. but at least it’s not all videos from the VH1 top 20, because most of those videos suck the same large piece of fat cock. (in fact, they all enjoy it, i think) and the videos do change a bit each night. i think it’s hilarious when the animated shakira pokes holes in silicone breasts with her fingernails. or maybe i’m just a pervert
need to get in shape again, running here is harsh and it’s hard to find time between work, family, cooking, and friends. i never realized what life was like. the only time i ever find to go online now is the fucking middle of the night! i usually only get four to six hours of sleep before groggily and unsafely driving to work
i blame my mind for being too active. i’m reading and re-reading good books now too, and finding all sorts of shit to read online. speaking of which, i’m probably going to run my parents out of online hours and make them pay an exorbitant abmount per hour. when i do that (as i suffer in the depression/insomnia loop), in my heart i which things could be the way they were, before this summer. . . i feel so weary now, and everything seemed better then. i learn so much but i feel completely unfulfilled now. but i bet there’s better things to come, and i’ll probably be happier after i get a real break. from finals to lab to home and another lab. i’m burnt out, frankly, and fixing that could probably fix a whole shitload of other things
there’s this cricket i enjoy watching all over the floor now. it’s been going in large circles around the kitchen for a while now. it’s also kind of fun to hit the ground near it really hard and watch it jump away in fear. how perverse. but i would never hurt it unless it started chirping loudly, at which time i would capture it and flush it down the toilet and watch it circle to its doom. you know the sound of a toilet? i’m imagining it right now. . . mwahaha
in short, i’m losing it rapidly, while becoming more educated and using my intelligence. in short, i’ll be another unabomber soon. maybe i can plant exploding groceries like that weird guy in italy. maybe not
good night, good morning.