flickerfade.org

there’s a certain irony when someone hides from candid pictures, they want you to see a certain side of themselves, but i personally believe that we never really have a choice in how people perceive us short of changing ourselves entirely. eventually, you will reveal yourself. you will reveal yourself to have been born in january, to be exact. why do i keep running into people born in january?

tomorrow i will come home with someplace to live in september, i promise myself. sort of. as long as it doesn’t suck i suppose, and i can afford it. everything is so informal and sometimes it should be more formal. for example, i would be happy to know how much i will make next year more exactly, besides “more than i made at MGH as a lab technician,” so i don’t have to worry about whether treating my friends and myself well over the next two months is going to leave me in a soaking box outside in the 40 degrees farenheit drizzle in the middle of achtober wanting to kick the shit out of dane cook and major league baseball’s damn promo monkeys.

when it’s late, i love writing long sentences. did you know that last sentence in the previous paragraph was a whopper? 84 words, i swear. i found out using my legal copy of office 2008. anyway, that will be great, maybe i’ll even rent early and you know, LIVE CLOSER TO LIFE.

speaking of baseball, i went to see the red sox, they lost 7-5 when matsuzaka imploded in the 6th inning. a walk followed by five hits, two of them home runs. we spent half the night looking for popcorn hahahah. i kept score poorly. we should really stop keeping score, because things are too inexact. i used to keep score, but then it just got annoying and i got bitter.

keeping score, maybe that can be another bad startup idea. right now, we have chopping, and the poison restaurant. i mean, who wouldn’t want to know what pine-sol shrimp tastes like? i bet it isn’t that bad. probably sweet and bitter at the same time. after all, pine-sol looks like apple juice. tasty, tasty apple juice. ice cold and refreshing, like everything at the ballpark. even the hot dogs.

so yeah, this keeping score startup, basically for $19.95 a year i will walk around and tell you you lose points. or gain points. it will be totally arbitrary. it’ll be like one of those lifehack-y sites that helps you get your life in order, except random, depending on the tides, the amount of turpentine stocked in my cabinet, and the percentage of white fur on the dalmatian next door. hey all we need is like 10000 regular users, and suddenly that’s like how much? 199500 dollars a year? nice.

but isn’t that how we keep score anyway? i mean, in an arbitrary manner. it’s really hard to know when you’ve done something right. or wrong. most of the time, that is, when it’s related to the big picture. damn you uncertainty.

okey dokey we did not see okajima tonight but that’s enough rambling.

i love lists.

the plane back

was delayed two hours
was engulfed by lightning as we approached boston
was not cold, except by the floor where my feet froze solid
contained a couple of lincoln lab folks who sat next to me
let me get a lot of work done
had me thinking, but maybe it was the trip overall

thanks again to my gracious hosts, and congratulations again to the happy couple.

i have a lot to learn. always.

but i ain’t staying long. the cheap rent is pretty much canceled out by the cab fares due to the lack of t access.

got to finish my thesis so i can figure how much i make . . .